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Time to Talk?

Tips to start the conversation

One thing we are so proud of here at Primordial with our Rock and Metal Community, aka #PRFam, is how everyone looks out for each other.
But sometimes it can be hard to know what to say when you are worried about someone.

We have pulled together our top tips to help start those conversations:

Start small:
Sending a simple message saying “hello, how are you doing?” or even a joke or meme* that you think will make them smile with a message like “I thought you’d find this funny, hope you’re doing okay”, is a good place to start. This will help the other person know that you are thinking about them.
*The #PRFamMemes Facebook group is not for the faint-hearted so visit and use responsibly.

Stay in touch:
Try to not be offended if they take a long time to reply or don’t reply to your first message.
Sometimes when people are struggling with their mental health, they find it really hard to speak to people, so it may take them some time.
Don’t give up after your first try; message again to show you really care about how they are doing.

Be aware of changes:
If someone is struggling with their mental health, you might notice some changes to their personality.
For example, they might become more angry, tired, forgetful, worried or sensitive.
Bear this in mind when talking to them and try not to take things personally. Be kind and patient with them.
Find out more about the signs of poor mental health

Listen:
Listening is powerful. If the person you are worried about opens up to you, just be there to listen.
It can feel hard knowing what to say, but don’t worry about ‘not saying the right thing’. You don’t need to try and ‘fix’ them or give expert advice.
Simply being there, being understanding and non-judgemental, and hearing what they have to say is a massive step in that person’s journey towards feeling better.

Suggest an activity:
Now things are starting to return back to some form of normality there are a few things you could invite them to do… like a gaming night with or without some of the Fam? Or a movie night? Why not suggest they pick a film or invite them to join the PRFam Film Club?
See if they just fancy a brew and a chat? If they are into rock and metal why not share some of the new bands from Primordial Presents with them? They might find something they like they have never heard before.
Doing an activity together can help show the other person that you care and that you are interested in spending time with them. Spending more time together may help them feel more comfortable with you, which might lead to them feeling able to share how they have been feeling. Just be sensitive if they do not want to engage, especially if they have been isolated and/ or withdrawn due to the pandemic, and perhaps try again at a later date.

Look to your idols:
There are lots of musicians who have spoken publicly about mental health – particularly in the rock and metal community.
From Jesse Leach to Jonathan Davis and Scott Stapp…
It might be worth using them as a way to start a conversation about mental health. This will help show the other person that mental health is something you feel comfortable talking about.
It can also help you both discuss how mental health is something no one should feel ashamed of, it affects everyone, even the people you would least expect.

  • If you are worried about someone’s mental health, don’t be afraid to suggest that they phone a helpline (such as Samaritans on 116 123) or speak to their GP about how they have been feeling
  • You can find out the signs of poor mental health here
  • There are details of lots of mental health support services here
  • Sign up or find out more about Time to Talk Day, download resources, materials and activity packs here
  • FAQs about Time to Talk Day